pacing a race: important for athletes (too slow -> never win, too fast -> injury, run out of energy); church: some need to speed up (“don’t waste your life”), some need to slow down; not just church but culture problem (stress, burnout); one thing in common: five deficits of grace (disconnect between theological grace and their daily lives): absence of 1) motivating power of grace 2) moderating power of grace (accepting than we are not perfect and will never be, instead of tormenting ourselves we rest in the perfect God, motivating power helps us get out of bed, moderating power helps us get to bed on time) 3) multiplying power of grace (dependence on God to multiply our work) 4) releasing power of grace (humbly submits to setbacks, accepting them as test of his trust in God) 5) receiving power of grace (accepting God’s gift: eg Sabbath, family, friends, Christian fellowship); not just middle aged (not just men) affected by burnout, and not just pastors; Heb 12:1-2

1. REALITY CHECK: blood cloths in leg and lungs; ministry & life getting faster and faster at the expense of quiet and rest; graces of sleep, exercises sacrificed for more “productive” activities; Reset process: informal program to help you love a grace-paced life; it’s not selfish to replenish energy and renew vitality in order to serve God and others better (“put your own oxygen mask on first, then you can help others”); checklist: 1) physical warning lights (health issues, feeling exhausted, sleeping difficulties, putting on weight); 2) mental warning lights (hard to concentrate, thinking obsessively about certain difficulties in your life, forgetting things, attention to negative subjects, brain feels tired); 3) emotional warning lights (sadness, long time without laugh, pessimism about marriage, worry & anxiety, pounding heart, hard to rejoice with others, often have to fake it, feeling hopeless & worthless); 4) relational warning lights (marriage is not the same anymore, no delight in wife, erratic sex drive, irritable & snappy at wife & kids, spending limited time with children, interrupted by phone, withdraw from friendships, frequently lose temper); 5) vocational warning lights (working 50+ hours per week, “making a millimeter of progress in a million directions”, work during weekends, little joy in work, feeling behind / overwhelmed, procrastination, passivity, hard to say no, feeling guilty when not working); 6) moral warning lights (watching risky content/p*rn, half-truths in tax returns, cultivating relationship with women who are not your wife, overspending, overdrinking, overeating); 7) spiritual warning lights (shorter devotions, check email before meeting with God, skip church, boring sermons, don’t enjoy fellowship with God/other Christians); 8) pastoral warning lights (bored with small stuff of ministry, no fellowship with others, difficult to confess sin, draw only on past knowledge, base acceptance by God on hard work); how many? how deep? how long?; realize danger: if you don’t slow down, God will slow you down - which is usually more painful; good news: there is way back; “where is God in all this?” & “what is he doing?” (Job 23:1-9) -> God knows where I am (Job 23:10a) & God knows what he is doing (Job 23:10b)
2. REVIEW: look back at what caused the damage before fixing it; creationists live like evolutionists (believe in God but life is about survival of the fittest); problem: trying to live like a disembodied angel rather than flesh and blood human (every week: exercise 3x, take one full day off, spend one evening with your wife); soul and body interconnected; God is infinite, we are finite -> don’t underestimate your limitations, don’t overestimated your abilities; Phil 4:13 doesn’t override our need to eat/sleep; the more complex the creature, the more mess when they break; most causes are from 1) life situation (things we have no control over: illness, genes, loss/gain, moving, conflict, age, responsibility, change) 2) lifestyle (within our control: idolatry, greed, debt, people pleasing, perfectionism, pride, comparison, indiscipline, unbelief, diet, media diet, laziness); don’t minimize small things, they can accumulate and become big
3. REST: sleep is a form of theology, lack of sleep (< 6 hrs) preaches that 1) I don’t trust God with my work, church, family 2) I don’t respect how God has made me 3) I don’t believe body and soul are linked 4) I don’t need to demonstrate my rest in Christ 5) I worship idols; multiple reasons to sleep longer: 1) physical 2) intellectual 3) emotional 4) societal 5) financial 6) moral 7) spiritual 8) ministry consequences; improve sleeping habits by 1) knowledge 2) discipline 3) routine 4) media fast 5) family cooperation (noise curfew) 6) exercise 7) contentment 8) faith (Mt 6:25-27, Ps 127:2, Ps 3:5, Ps 4:8) 9) counseling 10) humility 11) acceptance of special periods 12) napping 13) sleep doctor; sleep illustrates salvation
4. RE-CREATE: fresh, clear thinking only possible with recreation; church: emphasis on soul -> exclusion of body; result: neglecting body = virtue, sign of superspirituality; biblical theology of body (1Cor 6:9-20): body is damaged by sin (9-10), saved by God (11), remains vulnerable (12), is for the Lord (13-14), member of Christ (15-17), temple of Holy Spirit (18-19), was bought with a price (20); your body is not your own, therefore glorify God in your body and spirit (20); how to glorify God in your body: stand up, exercise, manual work (basic human need to have visible fruit of work)
5. RELAX: mindfulness (“be still and know that I am God”) vs noises in our heads (guilt, greed, resentment, vanity, anxiety) -> silence noises through daily bumps (eg mute notifications, check email 4-6x daily, put phone on wife’s desk when returning home, charge phone in kitchen overnight, fast from media, “All our miseries drive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone [with God]” (Blaise Pascal), breathing exercises, reading), weekly bumps (take a day off), quarterly bumps (full or half-day retreat alone), annual bumps (vacation), seasonal bumps
6. RETHINK: most important question: “who is God?”, second most important: “who am I?”; false identity rooted in guilt, past failures, urge to be strong/perfect, sin, “just” a layman (“the action of a shepherd in keeping sheep… is as good a work before God as is the action of a judge in giving sentence, or of a magistrate in ruling or a minister in preaching.” (Oz Guinness)); recover your true identity; write down all the words that come to your mind when you think of the question “who am I?” -> reorder priorities (eg if your job is the most important -> what happens when you lose your job?), expand incompletes (eg “I am Christian” -> I am blessed, chosen, heir of God in Christ), fill in gaps, prosecute falsehoods, add balance, reframe failures (if we learn to fail well, we have realistic expectations of ourselves and our callings, breakdowns can become breakthroughs); failures can 1) drain sinful self-confidence 2) fill you with sympathy for others 3) help you redirect your life 4) give you time to think 5) bring more glory to God 6) make you worship Christ more; accept change, anticipate the future
7. REDUCE: two ways to live: Well-Planned Life (WPL): take time to find a clear life purpose <-> Summoned Life (SL): reacting to circumstances as situations arise; purpose: find right balance between the two: develop four life purpose statements (spiritual, family, vocational life, ministry), but be prepared to adjust; lack of goals result in confusion, stress, frustration; turn purposes into actions: add to calendar, estimate time need, develop daily routine, prioritize (if you don’t, someone else will): 1) definite do 2) desire to do 3) delay do 4) don’t do, priorities should be reflected in calendar; “gain task”: produces lasting results <-> “prevent-pain tasks”: not enjoyable but prevent future pain; keep track of how long tasks take to schedule more realistic times in the future; build margin: operate on 80% capacity, leave space for the unexpected (same for finance); review plans at the end of the day vs what was accomplished; wife: primary accountability partner; prune: remove things in order to do the most important things well; say no to non-essentials so we can say yes to the truly vitals, be slow to say “yes” and quick to say “no”; answer emails using standard replies (point to reference on blog etc); make “stop-doing list” at the beginning of the year; aim: less but better; “magic” formula: 70% WPL + 30% SL + 100% PL (Prayerful Life)
8. REFUEL: three “pills” for depression/anxiety: good exercise, good sleep, good diet; diet should also glorify God (1Cor 10:31): don’t skip breakfast, reduce sugar/fizzy drinks, increase toast, salad, fish oil, blueberries, avocados, eggs; don’t expect your mind to function well if you eat junk; food affects mood too: avoid junk food, focus on oatmeal, strawberries, peas, walnuts, salmon, tuna, lentils, broccoli; medications: don’t rush to it, don’t rule it out, don’t wait too long, don’t expect rapid results, don’t rely on them alone, don’t dwell on side effect, don’t hold anything back, don’t obsess about getting off meds, don’t come off them too rapidly, don’t be ashamed of meds, consider them as gift from God, don’t tell everyone, don’t believe the caricatures; identity fillers (eg Bible reading, good food, nature) and drainers (eg meetings, conflicts)
9. RELATE: cultivate relationship with 1) God 2) wife 3) children 4) pastors/elders 5) friends
10. RESURRECTION: benefits of Reset process: new pace, new conscience, new honesty, new contentment, new selectivity, new energy, new joy, new theology, new team, new sensitivity, new tools, new service plan, new spectacles, new watchfulness, new patience (Norman Larsen: WD-40 = “water displacement-40th attempt”), new balance, new habits, new spectators, new humility, new grace, new fruitfulness (life-transforming wilderness experience), new Christ, new hope, new horizon, 2Tim 4:7-8