FOREWORD: habits ~ ruts in a path from a wheelbarrow going down the same trail again and again; focus on one habit at a time for 4-6 weeks instead of trying to implement many at once; habit building is not only good for child-training, but for you too

1. HABIT MAY SUPPLANT NATURE: ‘habit is ten natures’ (10x as strong as nature); “to put the child on the right track for the fulfilment of the possibilities inherent in him, is the vocation of the parent”; habit ~ rails of locomotive -> parent’s job: lay down lines towards unexplored country of child’s future -> great responsibility; habits govern 99% of child’s life
2. PHYSIOLOGY OF HABIT: mental and physical activity casually related; eg child doesn’t learn how to use pen with his mind against his muscles but newly growing muscles take form according to required action; easier to grow & adapt in early youth -> child should learn dancing, riding, swimming, calisthenics at an early age; bad habits have physical consequences (eg standing on one leg -> curvature in spine); brain also modified by the work is has to do (-> ruts, persistent trains of thoughts); danger of madness: loss of reason because you cannot get out of the channel of your brain; habits affect formation of child’s brain & his character
3. FORMATION OF A HABIT: greatest effort: making a decision; teaching dilatory & dawdling child: not through reward or punishment but through contrary habit: look at the child while he is daydreaming (expectant but not reproachful) -> lightest possible touch is the only effective instrument; do not permit any reversion; child’s prompt action -> reward of absolute leisure; formation of a habit is a delight itself; critical point: do not let your child break the new habit (“little relaxation”) -> this will cause the formation of another contrary habit; when a habit is formed, parent begins to feel pity toward child (“poor kid, he is taking so much effort to shut the door”) <-> in fact, habits are easy and natural -> tendency to allow omission -> you can easily lose the ground you had gained before
4. INFANT HABITS: train child to have a sensitive nose (smells can signal dangers): encourage him to perceive faintest trace of odours; keep nursery table as clean as dining room; let them play with mud, but when it’s over, they should clean themselves thoroughly; children should; 5-6 year olds child should be able to take bath by himself daily; teach him to clean their nails, corners of eyes, ears; “To let her young child live and grow in Eden-like simplicity is, perhaps, the most tempting and natural course to the mother. But alas! we do not live in the Garden, and it may be well that the child should be trained from the first to the conditions under which he is to live. To the youngest child, as to our first parents, there is that which is forbidden. In the age of unquestioning obedience, let him know that not all of his body does Almighty God allow him to speak of, think of, display, handle, except for purposes of cleanliness. This will be the easier to the mother if she speak of heart, lungs, etc., which, also, we are not allowed to look at or handle, but which have been so enclosed in walls of flesh and bone that we cannot get at them. That which is left open to us is so left, like that tree in the Garden of Eden, as a test of obedience; and in the one case, as in the other, disobedience is attended with certain loss and ruin.”; avoid using worn-out furniture, cracked cups, chipped plates in nursery; “The children should be brought up to think that when once an article is made unsightly by soil or fracture it is spoiled, and must be replaced; and this rule will prove really economical, for when children and servants find that things no longer ‘do,’ after some careless injury, they learn to be careful. But, in any case, it is a real detriment to the children to grow up using imperfect and unsightly makeshifts.”; don’t allow them to scatter things; a 2-year old should be taught to put away his own things (let it be a part of his play); neatness: not just a place for everything but everything in a suitable place -> taste is important; everything in the nursery should be neat (pleasing & suitable); no vulgar picture-book/toy should be allowed, pick 1-2 well-chosen artwork instead (even if it’s cheap); regularity should begin in infant age (eg feeding, repose);
5. CHILDHOOD & NURSERY HABITS: Swedish drill (~advanced Simon says); training of ear & voice; drill them to pronounce difficult words (eg teaching French orally); art of singing: entirely trained habit - every child may be/should be trained to sing; conclusion: the educating of habit is successful insofar as it enables the mother to let her children alone (without perpetual commands/directions) ~ gardener: takes care of a peach tree but only for a short time, the tree produces peach without the gardener (but his work is still important, cannot be neglected)
6. HABITS OF MIND & MORALS: mothers know their children the best, but education is also a science (instincts are not enough) -> raise them according to natural law (-> Divide law); teaching your child good habits will make your life easier in the future; teaching habits can also become a habit -> will come naturally;
7. HABIT OF ATTENTION: highest intellectual gifts depend for their value upon the measure in which their owner has cultivated the habit of attention; child’s wandering imagination follow the law of association (-> which is a good servant but a bad master); wandering attention is harmful because they reduce the capacity if their own mind for mental effort; habit of attention can be cultivated even in infants (-> look into their eyes for full couple of minutes); never let a child dawdle over an exercise book -> if this happens, let him do another lesson (which is very different from his current task), and later come back with a refreshed mind; teacher should make subjects attractive, know how to carry lessons; do not substitute your desire to teach for the sake if knowledge with any other reason; home schoolroom: timetable, short (<20 minutes) lessons, alternate between “thinking” and “painstaking” lessons, stimulate child with reward: natural reward (quickly done -> more free time); emulation (desire to excel): can cause envy & rivalry but this is how the world works (people who excel get praise/prize etc) -> if the child goes out into an emulous world, it should be brought up in an emulous school; mother can teach her child to be first without vanity, and last without bitterness -> joy in brother’s success, regret for brother’s failure; good marks should be given for conduct rather than cleverness (-> available to everybody): punctuality, order, attention, diligence, obedience, gentleness; emulation should not be used as an incentive to intellectual effort (-> desire to excel subsidies desire for knowledge); pleasing parents is a proper motive but should not be used too often; best way to motivate: attractiveness of knowledge itself; attention: not mental faculty, simply applying whole mental forced on a subject; child should be taught to compel himself to fix his thoughts despite external inviting circumstances; habit of attention: very important: he can only make use of any natural gifts if the habit of attention is cultivated in him; child should never do a lesson if he doesn’t put his heart into it; lack of attention tires the brain causes over pressure; if homework takes too long: allow max 1.5 hours to do their homework, allow game/storytime after that if they finish earlier; children under 14 shouldn’t be given homework (takes away gain of combining home & school life); rewards & punishment: should be natural, should imitate treatment of such conduct in after life, possibly without injury (eg Rosamond and the Purple Jar by Maria Edgeworth: prioritizing unnecessary over necessary will has bad consequences); identity & punish root cause in child’s misbehaviour; teacher should allow some natural consequences but avert others (eg if child doesn’t learn he remains ignorant, but parent should not allow that to happen);
8. HABIT OF THINKING: trained the same way as habit of attention; teacher must expect instant answers, quick thought, rapid work; child’s zeal must be simulated
9. HABIT OF IMAGINING: it’s good to have ‘funny books’ (eg Alice in wonderland) but don’t give them to much nonsense reading (eg The Swiss Family Robinson is better); imagination grows; turn the tables: instead of the child asking “Why?” and the parent answers, let the parent ask “Why?” and let the child produce the answer if he can
10. HABIT OF REMEMBERING: memory: storehouse of whatever knowledge we possess; much of what we learned/experienced is not only retained but can be recollected/reproduced -> valuable investment; “spurious” memory: ideas floating around without being part of the brain and then easily discarded ~ knowledge before exam -> quickly forget about it; “They cram to pass, and not to know, they do pass, and they don’t know.” (Ruskin); art of forgetting sometimes useful but not for schoolboys; if you want a child to remember secure his whole attention & use law of association to forge links of a chain to “draw the bucket out of the well” (see Dr. Pick’s mnemonics system); lessons should be connected: each lesson should recall the last; brain has no limit to his recording power but knowledge must be actively used to make imprints permanent; association can be based on similarity as well as contrast, but must be based on the nature of the things associated (not things like colors, places, sounds -> links of sensuous order can hardly be used in education)
11. HABIT OF PERFECT EXECUTION: no work should be given to a child that he cannot execute perfectly -> and then perfection should be required from him; eg only ask him to copy 6 strokes but those 6 should be perfect - if not, point out the fault and let him try again until he can do it (can be tomorrow or the next day) -> when he does it, celebrate!; let everything he does be well done; connected habit: finishing whatever he starts; in general, don’t let him start something new until last task is completed
12. HABIT OF OBEDIENCE: obedience is the first and most important habit, it is the whole duty of the child -> not only child but whole duty of man (obedience to conscience, to law, to Divine direction) -> eg temptations of our Lord in the wilderness; it’s not an accidental duty but parent is appointed agent to train child to be obedient -> parent cannot forego it, every act of disobedience in the child is a direct condemnation of the parent; child’s motive for obedience should not be arbitrary (“do this because I’ve said so”) but apostolic (“children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right”); to form a habit, the children must have a desire to obey, not by constraint but willingly (bullying into submission doesn’t work); child has principle of obedience within him; “There is no need to rate the child, or threaten him, or use any manner of violence, because the parent is invested with authority which the child intuitively recognises. It is enough to say, ‘Do this,’ in a quiet, authoritative tone, and expect it to be done.”; if mother requires her children to always obey her, they will always do it naturally but if she is not confident in her own authority they will discover they can disobey; habit of obedience should be confirmed daily by the unbroken repetition of acts of obedience; children are very clever in finding ways to observing the letter but evading the spirit (“I’m coming” - but he doesn’t come etc) -> to avoid that insist on prompt obedience, not tardy, occasional obedience; “it is greatly easier to give the child the habit of perfect obedience by never allowing him in anything else, than it is to obtain this mere formal obedience by a constant exercise of authority”; mother must exercise great self-restraint: she must never give a command which she does not intend to be carried out to the full & she must not lay too much burden on her child (commands upon commands); law ensures liberty: well trained child receives few directions which she knows she must not disobey, for the rest, she is free to figure out herself, even at the cost of some mishaps
13. HABITS OF TRUTH & TEMPER: three causes of lying: 1) carelessness in ascertaining the truth 2) carelessness in stating the truth 3) deliberate intention to deceive; parents usually allow 1) & 2) for their children <-> departures from strict veracity damages children’s sense of truth (~ knife loses its sharpness); training children to state things strictly accurately prevents him against greater temptations (lying, coloring a tale, suppressing facts); danger: exaggeration & clothing story with ludicrous embellishments -> ruthless mother must strip the tale of everything above naked truth; it is possible to be humorous without sacrificing the truth; children are indeed born with certain tendencies but not temper -> it’s the parents duty to correct the original twist; tendency + habit = temper; parent must hinder/force formation of bad/good tempers; change child’s thoughts before bad temper has time to develop into conscious feeling (take him outdoors, tell him something interesting)
14. CHARLOTTE MASON’S LIST OF HABITS: Courage • Loving • Good-nature • Giving • Unselfishness • Carefulness • Clean clothes • Reticence • Descretion • Courteousness • Making way for elders • Not holding a grudge • Ability to yield • Temperance • Pure thoughts • Willpower • Moral power • Spiritual weapons • Thankfulness • Order • Propriety • Virtue • Pleasure and profit from reading books • Speaking the exact truth • Decisiveness • Tact • Watchfulness • Persistence • Cleanliness • Neatness • Regularity • Punctuality • A sensitive nose • Care of fingernails • Clean eyes and ears • Washed hands • Brushed hair • Modesty • Purity • Obedience • Sense of humor • Caring for possessions • Putting away toys • Appreciation of beauty • Regularity of schedule • Sleeping at bedtime • Dancing • Calisthenics • Eye contact with others • Prompt and intelligent replies • Good manners • Light, springy movements Training of ear and voice • Pure vowel sounds • Pronunciation of difficult words • Musical training • Singing • Gentleness • Courtesy • Kindness • Candor • Respect for others • Attention • Self-compelling will • Sense of duty • Desire to excel • Be first without vanity • Be last without bitterness • Sportsmanship • Joy in others’ success Appetite for knowledge • Zeal for work Imagination • Thinking of the “why” of things • Undivided attention • Perfect execution • Handwriting • Finishing work that’s been started • Obedience to conscience • Obedience to the law • Obedience to Divine direction • Promptness • Cheerfulness • Self-restraint • Truthfulness • Carefulness Attention to detail • Factualness • Accuracy • Reverence for others • Respect for persons and property • Sweet temper • Trustfulness • Good humor • Patience • Humility • Contentment • Amiability • An even temper • Inclined to make the best of things • To look on the bright side • To impute the best and kindest motives to others • To make no extravagant claims